After A Small Delay

Today is my 65^th birthday. Not according to Facebook perhaps, but Facebook is not to be trusted for any info about me. Pretty much nothing on there is true - to confound scammers.

As ever, Life is a conundrum. There is nothing of any consequence going on - yet plenty to tell. My life continues to overflow, thankfully. Golf, reading, writing, travels, the guitars, the garden, all jostle to occupy my time, yet accommodate each other. Most of today has been spent sketching. The photo below was taken when out walking the dogs at my last visit to Ken & Maria. It’s a peaceful scene - so I started sketching it. Not to turn out a copy. What’s the point in that? Plus, I don’t have the ability; more to experiment with lines, textures and colours.

 

The result, still in progress, is an Andy Warhol, Day-Glo, poke in the eye version. You will see a resemblance in that you will recognise a field, the sky and a ramshackle hut, - but that’s all.

 Each day seems to fly by at the speed of a dove plummeting to earth after being in the wrong place on the Glorious Twelfth. Apart from the everyday things that happen, the news provides so much to amuse, engage and remark on, with new material arriving in droves. As you know, I like to look beneath the surface and have an opinion on most things. To that end, the web site - Ventarant, gives me the chance to comment on Edward Snowden’s antics, Jailing Bankers and the like and gives those of you who choose to - the chance to join in, agree with me, argue with me or take the topic off in another direction. Aren’t we lucky?

Another web site, Castletown Golf Society is in the throes of a facelift, and I have offered my PC technical services to the Spalding Volunteer Service should a charity need a process designed, a spreadsheet or a PowerPoint presentation. I await their response. That was Tuesday. Nothing yet.

Once again, life is kind. It hasn’t been. There were problems in March and April that left me poorer, frazzled and annoyed - but why dwell on negatives? Those dramas have passed  and are dealt with. Today I am in a good mood again and not just because I am officially an Old Age Pensioner. This may be down to the medication, the wine - or just that life has been kind. At any rate, I’m content. There have been a number of phone calls re the birthday, texts and Facebook posts. Thank you to all who got in touch. I try to forget birthdays; it seems that’s not allowed.

Golf at Spalding GC is introducing me to a number of friendly and interesting people. Mostly pensioners who are in their 70s yet playing off low handicaps, with a couple in their 80s, still playing AND dishing out banter. As for the golf, I’m taking lessons and practicing what I learn. Those of you who play will know that lessons usually result in deterioration of one’s game as you adjust to the new grip, stance, back lift, follow through etc. However, confidence grows with each painful game. I await the dividend.

Day trips to National Trust properties have precipitated more photos and days in the sun in lovely gardens and interesting old houses. At the Whitsun Bank Holiday the weather forecast for the Monday was good so I got in the car and set off for Gunby Hall near Skegness, an hour away.

They had a small party going on there where people dressed up in the garb of the era. It made me smile to see people dressed like this wielding digital cameras and sporting fashionable watches.

I have been writing increasingly, with mixed success. I am still struggling to find a ‘voice’ in which to write. It seems I use too many in my stories and that confuses readers, not really helpful.  As writing standards rise all the time, I doubt I will ever attain a level with which I am satisfied. A lot of rewriting happens, even of these letters. I continue to practice.

When I came back from Portugal, I went to night school for two years to study Creative Writing and attended a few residential weekends around the country too, although, to be fair, these were more an excuse for a weekend break. Both brought new friends, advice about the art of writing and, in the main, gentle criticism of the unarguably amateurish writing style of those beginnings.

It was chastening to read or hear the work of fellow students, many of whom wrote with natural elegance and appeal. My sister has that gift but writes all too rarely. Next time you see her, ask for a copy of her account of Jury Service. For someone with no training in writing disciplines, she turns out an easy, engaging article.

On the reading side, I am clattering through books at a goodly pace. Stocks are high as every trip for a weekend here or there, sees me come home with half a dozen more from Used Book stalls in that town’s markets or from its charity shops. The study brims and the Kindle has a few hundred books, ranging from the illuminating but rarely-touched treatises of Seneca, Pluto et al on Philosophy to the easier reads of James Patterson, Sam Bourne, My Family And Other Animals by Gerald Durrell, with a fair few Terry Pratchetts in the mix as I am a big fan of his style.

Talking of which, strangely in an X-files sort of way, my friend Bill Groves wrote a book about people moving between alternative universes. An engaging piece that I  finished last week and if you lean towards sci-fi based on a bit of Quantum Physics, I’d recommend it. It’s called The Dream Beacons - and is available in e-Book form, I believe. But you must pay attention; this is not Jilly Cooper (also recommended for The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous, Polo, Riders etc.).

This is hard-core sci-fi on multiple universes. Afterwards, Bill and I chewed the fat on its background: “What gave him the idea?”, “How did he handle tech descriptions?”, and so forth.

All this just a week ago. So, imagine my surprise on discovering the Terry Pratchett that I started today - The Long Earth, written in collaboration with sci-fi genius Stephen Baxter, uses exactly the same premise. Spooky eh? I wonder who had the idea first? Seems like a battle for the courts. On the bright side, Bill wrote his unaided. Pratchett needed help. Points to Bill, I think.

Currently, my own writing focuses on two stories. One is a rewrite of Heads & Hearts, which is dragging its heels. I enjoy rewriting it and it’s growing. It’s three times bigger than the original. The other though, the story of a Lottery winner, is more compelling in its attraction. It comprises  several short stories, complete and independent, all of which link neatly (?) at the end. His win is not the humble £3-6 million that the ‘National Lottery’ offers. Oh no. It’s a multi-rollover of Euro millions vulgarity; £140 million, far more than anyone of humble origins would ever need.

Seriously, if you or I won this kind of money, after the first ten or twenty million blown on houses, cars and fabulous holidays, what would we do with the rest - apart from hire an army of guards to stop our kids, grandkids and other family members getting kidnapped for the ransom?

This (happily fictional) Lottery Winner intends to give the remaining £100 million or so away. Not to charities or the standard good causes, both of which he doesn’t trust to be well run, but to individuals who struggle to live ordinary lives. Single mums whose exes can’t or won’t pay the maintenance. Divorced and separated dads whose exes are milking them for maintenance more out of spite than need and obstructing access to the kids - both of which happen today as a matter of course. And people willing but unable to work for whatever reason.

With each case needing investigation as to its merit or potential for fraud, he hires hackers, private investigators, researchers and analysts, accountants and lawyers and whoever else he needs, to test their veracity. Concurrently, using these resources to investigate politicians, bankers and businessmen to expose their wrong-doings and indiscretions. Police and journalists are bribed (what’s new?), to assist in this Robin Hood exercise. The findings are offered to journalists to expose corruption and bad behaviour. Being fiction, it can be as sensational as I choose to make it.

This collection of experts also defends him and his beneficiaries in court as he insists on paying in cash, deliberately leaving the minimum trail for HMRC. This is to help the less fortunate to live - and to circulate money in the economy. He prefers this to contributing to badly-made tax laws that favour tax-savvy corporations while penalising individuals that can’t afford tax advisers, so are easy prey.

In reality, it’ll never happen of course. If I win Euro millions that’s the last you’ll hear of me. No more Letters from Lincs. No more visits to Essex. As for ‘Give It Away’ - are you kidding? I’ll be rubbing shoulders with David Beckham and Wayne Rooney. Won’t have time for you lot.

The story begins with the winner advising the journalists at his press conference of the last item on his Wish List, i.e. to get away with murder. This seems to happen easily enough in real life. The UK murder rate is between 550 and 750 per year depending on whose stats you use. As for the success rate in solving them, it is about half to two thirds, with, in the main, parents or step-parents being responsible for killing children and partners or ex-partners killing adults. With these ‘in-house’ murders helping identification of the culprit, it is the killing of ‘apparent’ strangers that will be used in the story. People will be killed for some crime that the investigations uncover. Yes, the Lottery Winner will be setting himself up as judge, jury and executioner - eventually making a mistake and killing an innocent person. Filled with remorse, he’ll arrange his own death. Now you know how it ends, there’s no need to buy the book.

The clear-out of the study has uncovered a number of music DVDs, some not yet watched. Clapton’s Crossroads concerts, George Harrison’s Tribute concert, Mark, Knopfler and Emmylou Roadrunning, Chicago, Joe Bonamassa, The Shadows, Gracelands and others. These, plus TV recordings on the Freesat and Freeview boxes keep me entertained in the evenings, when I’m too lazy to read or play guitar. The TV recordings fall into three broad categories.

Firstly, the music history programmes of BBC4 on a Friday night. These include the lives of Squeeze, the Beatles, Brian Epstein, Queen, Freddie Mercury, Marvin Gaye, The Beach Boys, Paul Carrack, Mark Knopfler with Dire Straits and on his own - plus many, many more.

Just a short while back, The History of The Eagles - Parts 1 & 2 was on BBC2 one weekend. What great TV! I stayed up to watch the three hours that this took - via two episodes. Apart from the music, it was very frank. No punches were pulled in talking about drug habits or in airing the reasons that led to the break up(s). If you missed it, that’s a pity. I’m sure it will be on again.

The second category leans towards documentaries on science, principally psychology, the brain, intuition, intelligence and astronomy. The one on Intuition was illuminating. Most people tend to dismiss Intuition as it can’t be easily explained. Apparently, it can. In assessing a situation, your brain recognises signals - patterns like gestures, tone of voice, body language or storyline, in a situation, and associates those signals with your life experiences. You won’t recall those incidents specifically but the brain does and relates them to what it’s seeing. So, when you don’t know why you trust or distrust someone - or a situation, go with your instinct. The brain has done your analysis. See what happened there? I condensed a one hour programme on years of research by thousands of scientist - into three sentences. The writing’s clearly getting better.

Lastly, my favourite light viewing is drama, mainly crime series. CSI, Castle, NCIS, Body of Proof, Person of Interest, Luther, Silent Witness, Good Cop, Line of Duty etc. Light TV like Once Upon A Time, Revenge, the Good Wife and Nashville is also on the menu. Although, to maintain sanity, I watch some comedy every day. Comedy like the eye-watering Mrs Brown’s Boys and Would I Lie To You? Also, Happy Endings, New Girl, Big Bang Theory, Mock The Week, Have I Got News For You?, Bluestone and QI all feature. You must wonder how I find the time. Me too.

The garden has hardly had a mention although I have been out there, pruning and cutting back the growth from last summer’s rain. Last summer didn’t permit much time in the garden. It rained so much that the trees and shrubs just grew wild and bushy. That took me back. While this summer has arrived (sort of), the most flowers I’ve seen, were at the Spalding Flower Festival at the start of May, reviving memories of Basildon’s carnivals in the 50s.

 

 

As you see, now the storm clouds have cleared, life is kind once more offering pleasure from gardening, reading, writing, golf, watching TV and visiting stately homes and their elegant gardens - with a camera. Well, that’s a quick catch up since Feb. Such is the life of an OAP.