Well, here we are; running headlong at the wall that is the end of the
year and like Paul Carrack, I’m “Looking back, over my shoulder…” A while ago,
the Queen had an ‘annus horribilis’. She’s not alone. In talking to you, many
have had misfortunes this year where it would be easy to look back and say
“Poor me, Why me? Dearie me”. Luckily, there have been gifts too, so let’s
focus on these, instead of dwelling on memories that will only bring sadness.
The Olympics, for instance… What an Opening Ceremony! The best TV I
have seen since the Morecambe and Wise Christmas specials; a visual history through
the ages, a celebration - of everything that makes Britain, Britain. I’m
reading A Short History of England at the moment (England you’ll note,
not Britain) which makes it difficult to understand the current rage against
immigration. Nearly no one can trace their ancestry back to the indigenous pre-Roman
tribes, mainly because most of the original Brits got wiped out by the
genocidal approach of invading forces in the first 700 years of our recorded
history. Most of today’s Brits are descended from French, Danish, German,
Italian (Roman) and Scandinavian visitors - and the slaves they brought with
them, which explains our love of cheese, wine, pastries, sausages and pasta.
Back to the Olympics though, many of us were able to spot ourselves
on BBC’s i-Player as we watched the torch pass by. I saw myself taking photos
of the torch handover in Spalding Town Centre, also Dick & Jan Maddock on
Crown Hill in Rayleigh. Plus we had the buzz of vicarious armchair glory
through our athletes, Mo Farrah, Jessica Ennis et al, people who deserve their
celebrity for years of sacrifice, training and commitment.
And we have Bradley Wiggins’ superhuman effort to win the Tour de
France, without drugs apparently, proving that anything is possible. Then, the
Queen’s Diamond Jubilee with its pomp, pageantry and concert of old men singing
badly, and the Paralympic Games which gave rise to a greater understanding of
other people’s problems, normally swept under the carpet to avoid the
discomfort of thinking about them.
Talking of which, did you see The Best of Men? I recommend it. It’s
a short TV film - just 90 minutes, of how the Paralympics got started by a
German doctor in the last war. He was a Jew, so expelled from Germany and used
by the British Army in Stoke Mandeville hospital to treat crippled soldiers.
The English doctors had given up on them so the treatment philosophy was ‘keep
them sedated till they die’. Our hero though, Dr. Ludwig Guttmann, was having
none of it. He wanted these people, written-off as cripples, to live life
as full people as much as they could, and fought the establishment to enable
that in a rejection of the easier, safe, conventional attitudes of an uncaring
organisation waiting for them to die. Have a box of tissues handy. You’ll need
them, and not in a good way as in Debbie Does Dallas. It’s the most moving film
I’ve seen in a long while.
We all love a story of the underdog fighting (and winning) against
the establishment. I’ve just finished Exposure - Michael Woodford’s story as
one-time President of Olympus, sacked for exposing a massive internal fraud. I
recommend it to those of you with a knowledge of accounting. Without this it
will be a meaningless (but justified) rant against the Japanese ethos of not
criticising the elite social strata however badly, incompetently or dishonestly
they behave.
Olympus lost billions of dollars on speculative investments (or
‘gambling’ as it is sometimes known) and then tried to hide it by bullying and
threatening anyone who wanted to expose it.
That’s it. O.K. Spoiler Alert, admittedly - but I’ve saved you £20.
If however, you have an accounting and/or Internal Control background, it is
rife with politics, business transgressions, devious acquisitions and mergers
that are an Internal Auditor’s wet dream. Anyone want to borrow my copy, let me
know.
I see the Andrew Mitchell story, like yeast, refuses to die. I
complained in the last letter about journos not bringing out the full story. I
live in earnest hope that this may be corrected here. I’m writing this bit on
Dec 18th. when the story appears on today’s news bulletins. However,
it is still at the “I can’t say too much as it is sub-judice”, stage. When you get the next letter in January,
there should have been more developments. What fun!
That pointless paragraph was by way of an introduction to me
noticing a sea change in the way of the world today - made up of several small waves.
Firstly, the Ubiquitous Apology. It seems no matter how severe the
transgression, all is forgiven if you just apologise. It’s as easy as that.
Andrew Mitchell was, by his own admission, hugely offensive to
police officers who wouldn’t acknowledge his importance, swearing at and talking
down to two officers doing their jobs. Then, when talking down again to
the press in subsequent interviews, he thought an ungracious and unconvincing
apology, lacking humility, was enough to draw a line and carry on as Chief
Whip.
Now he seems to have become the hero a.k.a. victim, as it seems
evidence has been fabricated by the police (Surely Not?). Now it’s the police’s
turn to apologise to him. Again, bad behaviour on both sides - all fixed by a
hindsight apology, with possibly a few minor players going to jail to feed the
call of the baying pack for a sacrifice. Meanwhile, the puppet masters remain
untouched, lurking in the shadows. This story is shaping up to look like an
orchestrated police campaign to attack the govt. for budget cuts; in
footballing terms - ‘A bit of afters’.
Separately, the bloke who accused Lord McAlpine of sexual abuse,
apologised for mistaking his identity. Well, that’s alright then - forgive and
forget. Never mind the unfounded abuse heaped on poor old McAlpine by the media
and a hysterical Twitter lynch mob in the interim.
Or Jimmy Carr apologising for paying the tax that was due -
just like you and me - but castigated publicly because his accountants took
advantage of poorly-made tax laws. Why aren’t politicians apologising for making
and not correcting, bad laws, open to exploitation?
The Aussie DJs apologising for their ‘prank’ is also worth a mention
in that it wasn’t funny, therefore, not a joke. The intended humour, relied
on making someone look foolish publicly - so others could point and mock. Hugely
funny for those mocking but not for the poor butt of the joke, who was just being
a nurse. It was a nasty, mean, cruel stunt - to have a laugh at someone else’s
expense. She dies, they apologise. Well, that’s alright then. No harm done.
The NSW Premier commented in the immediate aftermath that it was “just
a prank” and that “no laws had been broken”. It seems to me that impersonating
someone to get private medical information would be unlawful - but what do I
know? In this country we call it blagging and when used by our gutter press has
resulted in people going to jail, but the NSW Premier thinks no laws have been
broken. It would be interesting to
research his ancestry and see if he was descended from convicts. That would go
a long way to explaining his grasp of the law.
David Cameron apologised for the police and political cover-up after
Hillsborough. Why did he apologise? Was he responsible? No - he’d only just
left university.
Why didn’t anyone from Thatcher’s government apologise? Was it just
another pointless, insincere apology to give Cameron a photo op to show how
caring he is?
That’s enough examples. Apologies are overused misdirection to avoid
identifying poor judgement and the proper placement of responsibility and accountability,
making acceptable…
“I killed your Gran. I’m really sorry. It was a joke.”
“That’s alright, mate. Apology accepted. What’re you having?”
Secondly, whistle-blowers now seem to be getting the praise they
deserve a lot more. Take Michael Woodford of Olympus, mentioned earlier. A
whistle-blower tipped him off and he had the balls to follow it up in the face
of intimidation and threat and see it to a conclusion. He continued by writing
to the board of Olympus about his concerns - with a cc to their accountants.
The board castigated him violently for copying the accountants as they wanted
it kept hidden, making Woodford a whistle-blower, albeit a powerful, clever,
articulate one. Talking of which…
The British government’s collusion in American torture is coming
into the spotlight. Julian Assange has made a career out of whistle-blowing,
with another million docs to be released. While I recognise the need for
secrecy to protect the public’s safety, it is also used by people with private
agendas to hide their behaviour (and agenda). What a pity honesty is valued so
lightly by our leaders.
My joy is in this growing trend to undermine the secrecy that
shrouds bad behaviour. Yes, politicians both in government and in business try
to justify their actions with faux honourable reasons - luckily, they think the
public are as gullible as they are so believe that their pretence and words
will be accepted. As long as politician remain that stupid, there is hope.
Which leads nicely into my third point, the complacency of
politicians. I’ll be quick with this as this is getting too serious and too sensible,
both qualities that I despise. Despite the atrocious thefts of a few years
back, MPs are at it again stealing from the public. Margaret Moran and Maria
Miller have hogged the headlines lately, bright people who don’t seem to read
the papers. If they had, they would have known not to try this so soon after
the last exposé . The Telegraph is still watching as are political opponents - ready
to shop them at the drop of a hat.
Alternatively, if they do read the papers, then you’d have to guess
at simple Arrogant Complacency. I think this has to be your degree subject, to
qualify as a politician.
So that’s the sea change; (i) it doesn’t matter what crime you
commit, apologise and you’ll be let off; (ii) whistle blowers are being
encouraged and (iii) MPs are still, thick/complacent/greedy/thieves (tick one
or more), believing their words will be believed over their actions - how
naïve.
With Christmas coming up, my sister wanted me to make my Mulled Wine
recipe. Forgetting that I got it from her originally (the recipe of her
neighbour), and viewed through the shifting mist of confusion based on a quicksand
of misunderstanding, this is now established in the D’Abreo Christmas tradition
as Bren’s recipe. I’m happy to take all misplaced credit. It goes…
Bottle of cheap red wine (as you’re going to add spices to it,
there’s no point in using the good stuff)
2 or 3 cinnamon sticks 2
or 3 teaspoons of Demerara sugar
Good pinch of nutmeg Good
pinch of powdered ginger
Half a lemon (sliced) Half
an orange (sliced)
and 12 cloves
Mix it all together and heat very slowly, but DO NOT boil.
Stir often and drink it hot.
The Mayan End of the World was due an hour ago (21st Dec
today). It’s late - typical; nothing runs on time anymore. In truth… I was kind
of hoping it wouldn’t happen as I have set my Freesat and Freeview boxes to
record stuff over Christmas. Had it ended today, missing Dr. Who and Kung Fu
Panda would have been a real disappointment.
It seems today’s cars are brimming with gadgets to make driving easier?
In my car, I have a Bluetooth ‘Hands-Free Kit’ and also ‘Cruise Control’ that
pretty-well drives the car for you; great devices that apparently ‘take the driving
out of driving’. Without reading the manuals from cover to cover, I believe I am
now free to read my Kindle, do my nails or take a short nap on my trips to
Essex. If only motor manufacturers can come up with something to give me a neck
massage to lead me into the nap, life will be complete.
I found a great book that I recommend for those of you who like dry
wit. It is called ‘Imagine My Surprise… Unpublished
Letters to the Daily Telegraph’. Here, I give you two extracts which, while possibly
breaking copyright may serve as an advert for the book, so I ask forgiveness.
“SIR - it is bad enough reading that Colin Firth’s wife has
dispensed with her underwear, but to publish the fact that 67% of women over 80
are sexually active and that most ‘achieve orgasm’, is devastating. Are you
mad?
I am a mere male of 68 years, not a rampant young stud, and am still
trying to live up to vague sexual expectations. Being uncertain whether or not
I have succeeded is bad enough, but the thought of perhaps another two decades
of strenuous and possibly gymnastic duties, is just too much. My only resort is
to prevent my wife from reading the Telegraph.”
The 2nd letter advises, “Fifty shades of Grey - succinctly describes
my lingerie collection.”
‘Imagine My Surprise’ covers a myriad of topics in this dry yet
eloquent style, including my personal favourite The Use and Abuse of Language,
where Aberrant Apostrophes, misplaced or just plain missing, punctuation and
the pretentious use of “I” when the speaker means “me”, in an attempt to appear
educated - are all misuses to make your teeth curl. Supposedly-educated newsreaders
get it wrong all the time - so don’t feel bad if you also don’t know the
English grammar rule on when to say “me” or “I” (it depends on whether you are
the subject or the object of the pivotal verb in the sentence). Other chapters
include - Family Life, Politics, the Monarchy, Sport and TV & Radio - topics
commanding witty, original and astute observations. An amusing, undemanding
read for when you want a bit of light relief from Life.
It is easy to ramble on about Life. It is a generous visitor that
brings the gifts of sadness, anger, surprise, inspiration and best of all
amusement and entertainment in generous quantities every day. This year has
been a roller-coaster ride for me and, as I am aware, for some of you too. If
we can accept with dignity, the unavoidable ‘horribilis’ aspects that haunt us
all from time-to-time, and consider the benefits, our cups will be half full of
warm mulled wine. And when we are credited with the recipe, however,
unjustified, accept it quietly, adding humility to your character.
Let
me close this year with a heartfelt Thank You to you all for your friendship. The
phone calls, the texts, the letters, the e-mails -whether jokes, photos, flash
mob videos or personal conversations, and your Christmas Cards, keep us
connected. Life has blessed me generously all of my life and of the gifts I
have received, friendship is the most valued.
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