A Few Thoughts On Lying

If you are a fan of Nature, you may want to embrace the fact that lying is a natural process, i.e. recommended by Nature. Stick insects looks like sticks so they can avoid being eaten, chameleons blend into their background so they can eat. Tigers blend into the long grass of a jungle and polar bears are white so as not to be easily spotted by seals. There are many more examples but then this becomes a tribute to David Attenborough.

I lie constantly to entertain, however, not to avoid responsibility. I discovered, at an early age, that the truth behind a lie surfaces at the most inconvenient of times so lying 'to avoid the consequences' - is a waste of time. They always jump up and bite you when it least suits - just ask any MP.

They're funny people aren't they - MPs? Supposedly intelligent and well-educated yet so easily-fooled, perhaps because they believe appearances matter. Well of course they do, but only to other people who are just as easily-fooled. The public, in the main, are more street-wise and savvy. My friends generally accept what politicians say if they are present, then laugh at them behind their backs.

I mentioned in the first blog that I was raised in Basildon in the 50s and 60s. What an education that was. On the face of it - Secondary Modern, the predecessor to Comprehensive - nice sounding titles to disguise the fact that we weren't smart enough to get into Grammar School, but we got a full and hearty education in Life, Reality and whom to trust.

Our teachers were from an era when teaching was a vocation. They taught us manners, values and social skills - by example - as well as the curriculum. When did that change? How many teachers nowadays go into the profession with a desire to impart knowledge and how many go in because it's easier than getting a proper job where performance decides your fate?

There is an old adage that goes "Those that can, do - and those that can't, teach." And then there are those rare few - that can teach - Unicorn Hoofprints. You will find them, but you have to look hard.

However, my intent is to talk about lying and not about teachers. As lying is so commonplace, is it now acceptable behaviour? Politicians lie without thinking. It's just a reflex. Every day, you'll hear a journalist or newscaster interviewing a politician and ask a simple, loaded YES/NO question only to receive a response where you can't tell what the answer was. That way of speaking seems to have become accepted from politicians. They lie via evasion and omission - and no one cares.

It's not just politicians. It happens in the workplace too. Managers lie or give the slippery response, and rely on their status in the organisation to avoid a challenge. I wonder why people of status can't say "Sorry, I got that wrong. My fault. What can I do to put it right?"? Everyone knows when you're in the wrong. The fact that it is only discussed behind your back doesn't mean you got away with it.

It seems avoiding giving a straight answer is now accepted as the way of dodging the spotlight of accountability. But do you really dodge it if the reality is that people see through your lies and then express contempt for you behind your back?

Politicians ask why they are not trusted and what can be done to change that. Either they don't really mean that or more worryingly, they are so out of touch with reality that they can't see that telling the truth is what will set them apart from the production line politicians for whom we have so little time.

Let's close with a few thoughts on another type of politician; the manager in an organisation. I worked for a multi-national corporation for 30-odd years. They were very good at cutting costs but never took on the single most wasteful cost, the one thing that would have set them apart from their competitors - ending Office Politics. A ton of money was spent every day, out-manoeuvring other departments, and sometimes, managers from our own branch of the organisation. Why is that so hard to end? It's a mystery.

Our managers prided themselves on being good at the politics. I thought it should have been a sacking offence. What's the meaningful difference between wasting the Company's money and stealing it - especially when it's for reasons of self-aggrandisment?

Of course we heard all the empty noises about teamwork, given to us by people who had never played in teams so had no experience of team dynamics at first-hand. But the reality was that, not just my ex-employer but any organisation will spend lots and lots of shareholders' money on infighting.

So, there we have it, a few thoughts on Lying, nothing Earth-shattering. All stuff most of you will have heard before from your friends in pubs and wine bars, unless you're a politician in Westminster or in a medium to big organisation, when no one will tell you how transparent your lies are. We lie to you too. What did you expect?

The Opening Few Pages

In looking at my draft Word document, I see that it started on August 20^th, 2000 at 23:04.

The greatest gift that I can give,

Is to recount the life I’ve lived.
To tell you of the things I’ve seen,
What is today, and what has been.

The times I’ve lived through, good and bad,

The tears I’ve shed, the fun I’ve had.
Account as best I can recall,
In a book that’s written for you all.

The title and theme of this book came to mind recently and it started me thinking that you would be living in about 100 years from now. Life will surely be vastly different for you, technology will have advanced beyond the extent of my imagination, you will have learnt from the mistakes of the past (hopefully) to create a better world for young and old, where people will treat each other with more respect and consideration. It is my hope that the enquiring minds among you will want to know something of life in these times. I will try to present that for you here.

My intention with this series of essays is to tell you something of life in the latter half of the 20^th century and as much of the 21^st as I get to see. This will be a serious account of many matters but hopefully presented in a light way. A great man once said “In my humble opinion Claude, Life is too serious a matter to be taken seriously”. This was Rumpole of the Bailey, a fictional character but capable of blinding wisdom nonetheless.

One thing I ask you to bear in mind is that this is a subjective account of these times. It is one man’s view - nothing more. Although this is a subjective account, I have lived through these times and according to my closest friend, lived a full life by comparison with the majority. You will find this book contains observations, opinions and other people’s wisdom. Here’s a quote that springs to mind at this point. This is a paraphrase – not the exact quote from Thoreau.

“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deep. To suck out all the marrow of life and not realise that when I came to die, that I had not lived.”

Too many people avoid life, finding excuses to say No, playing safe, waiting for the right time. Then their life ends. Here’s a poem on this matter.

Waiting for the Right Moment

Faster than a speeding cloud,

Sliding ’cross a still, blue sky,
I always thought that there was time,
Until my life passed by.

I shilly-shallied, stalled and dallied,

Till the time was right,
While I waited, hesitated,
My short life was in full flight.

Glancing up from empty planning,

Looking backwards, then I saw,
Better moments had passed by me,
Passed me by, some time before.

Bewildered, sad, I saw too late,
In my life’s fading candlelight,
The truth of a capricious Fate -
The time is never right.

So, my, son, as now I leave you,
Take my hand and learn from this.
Live each moment you are granted,
There is no more precious gift.

I have only held this view for the last 10-15 years but I now try to live life more fully, accepting offers, trying new things, saying Yes when it would be easier and more comfortable to say No.

Hopefully, this has given me experiences that enable me to present for you a broad, frank and, (Dare I hope?), occasionally amusing view of the late 20^th Century, plus a little of the 21^st. I have no sponsor for this piece so there is no bias to the writing other than my particular view of the world and the way I believe it operates.

I will also tell you things about our family and about myself, what makes me laugh what has made me cry, important people that have passed through my life, clever words I have heard or read, noble deeds, acts of decency and unselfishness that I have witnessed. There will also be some reference to the opposite of these things. I discussed this book today with a friend who asked how I intended to keep it on track. He has known me for some time and is aware that I have a tendency to take conversations and trains of thought down alleyways off tangents. I have no intention of keeping this to a predefined structure. I will write this as thoughts occur and we will explore subjects with all the focus of Mr. Magoo – a myopic cartoon character, incapable of seeing his hand in front of his face. I enclose a quote from The Black Fox, which, hopefully, I will finish one day:

“Renata had a full and active sense of humour and had never been burdened by an excess of respect for the truth.  Consequently, the story that she told the children may have had elements of fancy that caused it to stray from The Path of True Account which passes through the Forest of Distractions.  However, the children liked her stories and it is well-known that legend rarely follows the same star as Historical Accuracy; its reputation for being a reliable account of momentous events is as solid as a birdsong, and just as welcome.

As the flames of the camp-fire danced, the children’s faces glowed in its light and with the expectation of a tale from their favourite storyteller.”

This should also tell you that from time to time, I may lie – a harsh word but technically valid. If this occurs, it will be to amuse and entertain you – not to mislead. There will not be any lie on a serious topic. Of course, I may be lying here.

This is a family document. I don’t expect it to be published. I will ask my sons Stephen and Nicolas, to pass it to their children when I am gone and to ask the same of their children. By these means, it may someday reach its intended audience – my great, great grandchildren. I hope you will find it entertaining and informative. I will save it on the computer storage media of today, but I expect you will need the services of a museum to retrieve it from DVD, CD ROM or floppy disk. Instead, if each generation can save it to the storage medium of the day, maybe it will survive. Similarly, if some of the family want to contribute to it along the way, it could become a living account of life through the 21^st Century - through the eyes of your ancestors.

What Started This?

A while ago, I started a series of essays to my great, great grandchildren. Its intent was to tell them about my life in the latter half of the 20th century and as much as I get to see of the 21st. This is because I think I and my contemporaries have lived fortunate lives, seeing monumental changes in people, behaviour, societies and the world in general - coming out largely unscathed from all of this turbulence.

When I say 'my life' I suppose I really mean the world that I have seen as opposed to what I've been up to personally. Like, life in Basildon as a child in the mid-50s when it really was a New Town of just a few hundred houses, lots of fields, country roads, derelict, deserted bungalows a quarter of a mile apart, with attendant abandoned orchards between neighbours and unsecured building sites on which we played in the evenings once the builders had gone.

Then, those teenage years when the Beatles opened the UK pop scene. This is a bit disrespectful to Cliff, Marty Wilde, Billy Fury, Joe Brown etc., who were all famous and revered, but they were just copying American pop culture which dominated the UK pop scene till the early 60s. The Beatles made it alright to be original, although, to be fair, a lot of their early works were just covers. More on all of that later.

Also included will be world events like man walking on the Moon, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the fall of the Eastern European dictators, then, jumping out of chronological order, the more recent but similar activity in North Africa, MPs' Expenses, newspapers hacking phones and e-mails and going back to chronology, development of the PC, the Twin Towers, the proliferation of the World Wide Web, e-mails, the Internet, digital cameras, mobile phones, the popularity of Facebook, Twitter and so forth.

The intended audience will live in roughly 100 years time, so I am trying this out in a blog first. Let's see what transpires.

I would hope that my blog will be grammatically correct and spelling errors will be limited to typos precipitated by speed, something I abhor but fall prey to as much as any other person in a rush to get an idea out to see what it looks like.

Also, things happen to me, as I'm sure they do to you. But I don't believe in coincidence. For me there's a purpose to everything so I wonder what it is. Of course, I may be wrong on this but what does that matter? I see no merit in being right. When that happens, that's just a piece of Good Luck. I do understand though, there are some people for whom being right is important - I'm just not one of them. So if you find something with which you disagree in this blog, feel free to mention it. Just don't expect me to offer an apology or correct it. Being wrong is of little consequence in my world. I have been wrong so many times in my life, I am now pretty good at it.

So now you have an idea of what this blog will cover. It is principally a first airing of "Letters To My Grandchildren's Grandchildren". The topics covered will go well beyond what is listed above. Life overflows continually, offering tasty morsels in limitless supply, and some can't be ignored so there's no telling where it will go.